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Murphy's Laws of X-COM

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Murphy's Laws of X-COM Empty Murphy's Laws of X-COM

Post by Karmiz on Fri 15 Jun 2012, 12:12 am

Soldiers
If a soldier can miss, it will.
If a soldier can panic, it will.
If your soldier holds a primed Proximity Grenade and panics he'll drop it and start running
If holding any other weapons he'll drop them and run right next to an alien
If a soldier is armed, it will get MCed.
When a member of your squad is mind controlled, his/her accuracy and reactions increase.
The opposite is true when you mind control an alien
The soldier with the most powerful weapon is surely the one with the worst morale / MC resistance.
If a soldier can hit an alien, it won't
If a soldier goes berserk, he/she will turn to face your nearest soldier and autofire
If a soldier has a Rocket Launcher, he will get MCed while still in the craft
Your first unit out is always shot down
Your first unit out is always your commander
A wounded soldier will die before you find the last alien
As soon as you get better armor, the aliens get better weapons
Flares will land where they cannot be picked up
If your base is attacked, you will always get flares instead of Heavy Plasmas
You will always end up short of 1 TU to perform the action you wanted to do
You will prime a grenade at 1 turn then be 1 TU short of throwing it
If an alien grenade can explode and take out half or all of your squad, it will
The soldiers with the worst stats will always be promoted
When you build the Psi Lab you will always discover that your officers are psi weaklings
On Ethereal Terror Missions, you will always get the most Sectopods as possible.
If you can not remember, do not use Proximity/Particle Disturbance Grenades.
All Five Second Grenades are Three Seconds
If there is a civilian near the enemy you want to kill, your soldiers will always kill that civilian instead.


Civilians
If a civilian sees a fire he will run into it
If a civilian sees an alien he'll move right next to it
If a civilian can block your line of fire to an alien he will do that
Civilians will always be attracted towards dropped primed proximity grenades
Civilians block doorways if you run out of time units before you can reach them
Civilians will always run towards the aliens


Aliens
If an alien can miss, it won't
If an alien can MC you, it will
Alien commanders will always kill themselves (with their Blaster Launchers) to avoid capture
If there are Chryssalids, you will get at least one zombified soldier
You'll never want to know the answer to "why did the Chryssalid cross the road?"
If a Reaper can get stuck, it will
If a Cyberdisk can explode on one of your men, it will.
Unconscious aliens capable of melee attacks wake up when you least expect them to
If you opened a door and turned left, the aliens are all on the right
Sectopods will always reaction fire to you
Aliens are smarter than they look


Geoscape (UFO Defense)
When you need money the most, some of your funders will stop funding you.
As soon as you get a new base online, it will be attacked
As soon as you get lots of money, the aliens will make you spend it all
Terror sites always appear only at night
Seas always appear below a crashing UFO
The first country to drop funding always gave the most money
X-COM bases are always attacked when the squads are out
Crashed UFO's never have Elerium
Landed UFO's will take off before you can get to them
UFO's will always arrive after your Skyranger is refueling from a two day patrol
If you have forgotten to save the game for at least 3 missions, the game will crash
The game will always crash when it is the least convenient
If you launch a craft fully equipped for night fighting it will arrive at its intended location during daytime
If you launch a craft fully equipped for day fighting it will arrive at its intended location during nighttime
When a base becames operational UFO activity on that area will cease to zero immediately afterwards
If your craft only has 1 missile left when it shoots it will miss
Alien UFO scouts will always outrun your Interceptors


Cityscape (Apocalypse)
If you're almost broke after buying a new flagship for your fleet, it will be destroyed in the next UFO incursion.
The pride of your fleet is always stuck in alien dimension when you get attacked by a Mothership.
UFOs carrying infiltrators always spawn at the gate you don't have covered.
Griffon AFV is tough. The road under it is not. The tracks are just for show.
There are only two types of vehicles that are always in abundance on the market. Blazer bikes and Stormdogs.
While en route to a building, your craft will shoot at a Cult civilian car and demolish half of the city trying to hit it. However, the car will survive.
Megapol is useless.
Transtellar is annoying.
Everyone else is both annoying and useless.
Government's weekly paycheck,after paying the overhead, will buy you a Lawpistol clip. Maybe two.
If your base is in a slum, a single stray shot from a light disruptor will destroy it all.
If your base is in a warehouse, said stray shot will still hit the tile with your agents
Hoverbike swarm is a good idea. Too bad they'll all get shot down anyway because of sheer dumb luck on the aliens' part.
Research will always be completed right after when you needed it the most.
After a firefight in the city, the only one to be blamed for the devastation will be you, even if it was an Overspawn that did it.
The Overspawn will coincidentally be dropped right at your doorstep.
The Overspawn will never, EVER get hurt from falling debris. Unless you drop the said debris and level half of the city with it.
People Tubes can collapse from an angry glare or a single bullet.
You're the only one who has a problem with the aliens. Every other corp has them on neutral.
Subversion attacks WILL succeed, 100%.
Your carefully built Dimension Probe will be welcomed by a volley of Heavy Disruptor Guns.At least it just needs to appear at the dimension just once to start the infiltration.
Your very first invasion of the Alien Dimension will require an hour's savescumming to get it right without being reduced to scrap metal.
You WILL forget to not to move the XCOM craft when you succeed in destroying an alien building, killing everyone in the process.


Battlescape (Apocalypse)
If your base is raided, there will be as few of your agents spawning as possible.
Said agents will spawn as far away from the access lift as possible.
Guess where the scientists will appear.
If you're raiding a building, there will always be a retard with a heavy launcher.
Despite your best efforts, he will manage to fire at least one missile.
And he will do so even if you're breathing in his face.
There is no way to avoid the missile and injuries or casualties from it.
Even if you somehow actually manage to avoid the missile, it'll bring down the building on you.
That stupid grenade will go off at the cultist corpses and destroy all the goodies you came here for.
If an agent in a squad gets attacked by a brainsucker, the rest of the squad won't hit it at point blank range.
Or they'll fire a missile launcher. Guess the results.
If you turn around the corner where you think that last alien is hiding, it'll turn out to be half a dozen of Anthropods. All armed to the teeth.
Berserking agent will cause more chaos and destruction than all of your other agents put together. And it won't be directed at the enemy.
If someone throws a Boomeroid at an agent, he'll try to run away from it.
Because it will always turn out that you forgot to set him to aggressive mode.
If you try to capture a Megaspawn, he'll die before you can stun it.
You'd wish you gave that mind controlled agent a Toxigun instead of a Dimension Missile Launcher.
You'll encounter cloaked and flying Skeletoids much more often than you'd like to.
Good stuff always comes too late.
Psi attacks are only successful when they're not necessary.
Dynamic music always ignores what you're actually doing.
That agent you sent to scout ahead will always be the one without a motion scanner.
Every raid is a horrible decision between property damage and greed. Either way, you lose.
The agent with a Mind Bender won't see the enemy until he's standing right next to it.
Karmiz
Karmiz
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Location : beating my head on a wall

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Murphy's Laws of X-COM Empty Re: Murphy's Laws of X-COM

Post by Stereo on Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:02 am

LOL!

+1'd!
Stereo
Stereo
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Location : Apollo Mining Colony

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